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Three Minutes

By Rachael, The Roaring Girl's Co-Artistic Director, currently moonlighting as one of those voices on the other end of that phone call you didn't want.

So I don’t know if you know this but we’re in the middle of a pandemic.

As so much of theatre cant happen like it usually would, I’ve got myself a job in a call centre to see me through. It's working from home, at a computer, and its 1000% better than the job I had at Tesco lugging beer crates around. Part of this job is that calls come through automatically and if there aren't any available you get put on a 3 minute timer until it refreshes again (if you know, you know). For the first few days you just sit there, expectant. Waiting for something to happen. Attentive, slightly panicked. However, once you’ve got through the state of eager waiting, its just watching a countdown on repeat. My life for the last 7 weeks has been dictated by this 3 minute timer, 140 opportunities a day to get a call. I even had my parents come over and help me move out of my old flat in 3 minute segments which was truly farcical. When you’ve got a literal countdown happening in front of you, you start to look for things you can do within 3 minutes to maximise your day.

So, for your consideration, a list of thirty 3 minute and under activities:

1) Make you bed

2) Get dressed

3) Brush your teeth

4) Wash your face

5) Put you face moisturiser on because you don’t need spf when you don’t leave the house

6) Make a cup of tea, but you can only put in enough water for just your cup otherwise it takes too long to boil

7) Make cereal, toast at a push

8) Cut two apples

9) Hoover the living room

10) Hoover the bedroom

11) Who am I kidding, I’m not hoovering the house that much

12) Paint your nails on just one hand

13) Paint the other hand

14) Answer one email

15) Rough dry your hair

16) Then actually dry you hair with a hair brush

17) Straighten your hair

18) Curl half of my hair (it's very thin it is surprisingly quick)

19) Go for a wee

20) Check for any post

21) Hug my mum

22) HIIT workout (Yes, I’ve done this, no, I don’t know who I am anymore either)

23) Watch 3 tik toks

24) Cuddle my cat until she scrambles to get away

25) Stare at the wall and contemplate existence

26) Get up and manically dance to get some blood flow happening

27) Text my mates who are also doing this job

28) Laugh at each other trying to get things done in a 3 minute time slot

29) Try and figure out how to make 5 minute activities fit into 3 minutes

30) Write a blog

Rachael taking a selfie-break.


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