Three Minutes
By Rachael, The Roaring Girl's Co-Artistic Director, currently moonlighting as one of those voices on the other end of that phone call you didn't want.
So I don’t know if you know this but we’re in the middle of a pandemic.
As so much of theatre cant happen like it usually would, I’ve got myself a job in a call centre to see me through. It's working from home, at a computer, and its 1000% better than the job I had at Tesco lugging beer crates around. Part of this job is that calls come through automatically and if there aren't any available you get put on a 3 minute timer until it refreshes again (if you know, you know). For the first few days you just sit there, expectant. Waiting for something to happen. Attentive, slightly panicked. However, once you’ve got through the state of eager waiting, its just watching a countdown on repeat. My life for the last 7 weeks has been dictated by this 3 minute timer, 140 opportunities a day to get a call. I even had my parents come over and help me move out of my old flat in 3 minute segments which was truly farcical. When you’ve got a literal countdown happening in front of you, you start to look for things you can do within 3 minutes to maximise your day.
So, for your consideration, a list of thirty 3 minute and under activities:
1) Make you bed
2) Get dressed
3) Brush your teeth
4) Wash your face
5) Put you face moisturiser on because you don’t need spf when you don’t leave the house
6) Make a cup of tea, but you can only put in enough water for just your cup otherwise it takes too long to boil
7) Make cereal, toast at a push
8) Cut two apples
9) Hoover the living room
10) Hoover the bedroom
11) Who am I kidding, I’m not hoovering the house that much
12) Paint your nails on just one hand
13) Paint the other hand
14) Answer one email
15) Rough dry your hair
16) Then actually dry you hair with a hair brush
17) Straighten your hair
18) Curl half of my hair (it's very thin it is surprisingly quick)
19) Go for a wee
20) Check for any post
21) Hug my mum
22) HIIT workout (Yes, I’ve done this, no, I don’t know who I am anymore either)
23) Watch 3 tik toks
24) Cuddle my cat until she scrambles to get away
25) Stare at the wall and contemplate existence
26) Get up and manically dance to get some blood flow happening
27) Text my mates who are also doing this job
28) Laugh at each other trying to get things done in a 3 minute time slot
29) Try and figure out how to make 5 minute activities fit into 3 minutes
30) Write a blog
Rachael taking a selfie-break.