What life is like when your humans stay home all the time, by our feline friend, Patches.
(As told by associate Alex Brook)
Day 1 – March 23rd
They seem to be staring at the box of moving pictures on the wall, they both look worried about something, maybe we are running low on dreamies. I really hope not. I will investigate.
They both seem to be around all the time, it’s quite nice, the door seems to be open to the outside a lot, maybe I should bring them a treat to say thanks. They love birds… this is going to be a great idea.
It was not, I got put inside and I cannot find the bird anymore… I hope it is OK.
They have not left… not even for one moment. This is going to play havoc with my naps. Also I am getting sick of ‘treat time’ being every hour or so, it really takes away from the hype of the occasion.
There is a strange human with big hair on the picture box jumping up and down, they seem to be following what this human is doing and jumping around as well. Its very strange, normally they just sit down looking at the picture box, never have they joined in with it before, something is up.
The jumping in front of the picture box has stopped, thank god.
Another human arrived at the door today with lots of food for them. I saw a couple of tins of tuna in amongst everything, this is going to be a great couple of days!
I actually, cannot believe it! 3 days now they have had tuna, they ruin with potato and pasta and all I get is the last bits out of the can. Maybe another bird will help change their mind on the tuna front.
The taller one seems happy with something that just came through the front door. They ran upstairs and started building something, looks odd. I am going to name it ‘The Odd Thing’. Will report back later.
WHY WON’T THEY GO OUTSIDE! Its 2pm, I am normally asleep, instead I have a tiny mouse on a piece of string that they insist of waving in front of my face making that stupid bird noise they do. Not sure how much longer I can stand this, think I am going to go for a walk and clear my head.
The odd thing makes things just appear! It is bloody magic. Annoyingly the tall one has put it in my nap room and the noise is well… it is just ridiculous. I will try and push it off the shelf it is on, maybe that will help.
Honestly, I am getting used to them being here all the time now. They keep talking about needing to use this time to do things and get better at things. I really want to let them know it does not matter, they really should have my outlook on life, sleep, eat, walk around repeat. I just need a way to get this through to them. I know! Maybe a mouse will let them know, they always seem to really focus on me when I have a mouse. They must really love mice.
Still looking for a mouse.
Found a vole hope this will do it!
Time stamp 1
Yesterday did not go quite as planned… I bought them the vole, it got away and hid under one of the big comfy things. The smaller of them ran away upstairs, the taller one told me to sort this out as it was my fault it was in here. Guess I will have to try and wait this thing out now.
Time stamp 2
Still waiting, no sign yet.
The taller one moved the comfy thing and I got the vole! However, it was taken away from me and put out the front door. Guess this didn’t help get my message across after all. Maybe some licks will comfort.
Licks helped. Not as much as I thought it would, also they taste strange.
Back to the odd thing, no luck trying to push it off the shelf. Managed to get a few of the things near it onto the floor and rub some hair of mine it, maybe that will help the nap situation.
I literally cannot describe to you how much cardboard is here! BEST DAY EVER! Other humans keep coming to the door and just leaving cardboard! The two of them seem happy with what is in the cardboard which is strange. But I am having a great time.
I love my new fort. I have decided to move all my toys into said fort. What a great day.
All the cardboard is gone… Along with my fort… some other humans came in a rather noisy thing while I was asleep in the window. They just chucked all the cardboard in the back and drove off. It all came out of one of those massive blue things… maybe I should try and get in there one day and find a new fort!
The hair on the odd thing did not work – will have to find a new nap space. Wish me luck.
Found the best nap space, quiet, peaceful, and high up so they cannot give me head rubs and use that strange voice they do.
WHY ARE THEY STILL HERE!
So, I have been doing a lot of watching and listening, apparently a human called Dom or something like that did something bad, Something to do with a castle from what I can understand which means they are now going to be around more. Thanks Dom… Bet Dom gets a nap in the day… god I miss daytime naps.
The smaller one keep flinging that mouse on a string around again, I’m just catching it to make them happy, do they know how easy this is to catch… it quite embarrassing that they think this is a challenge, ‘Oooo you put it on the shelf, how difficult…’ never seen either of them move as fast as I am doing now to get anything.
Ok – Paw to my heart, they are growing on me, it’s nice to walk into one of my rooms and see them tapping away at those smaller picture boxes using that odd board thing. They don’t seem to like it when I try and help tap on the bored thing though, apparently I ‘might hit send’… no idea either, but it would be ‘very naughty’ I think they think I am some kind of child… god I pity them.
Fresh litter tray thanks to the tall one. Well buddy... watch this.
They are started jumping around with the human with lots of hair on the picture box again… looking at them both it does not seem to be doing anything, they just turn red for a bit and then eat their human dreamies. Apparently ‘they earnt it’. Well I catch a bloody bird from mid-flight and that does not ‘earn’ me some dreamies, the hypocrisy is rife.
The dreamies situation has levelled out into a fare situation, I have worked out their dreamies are near my dreamies, so all I have to do is wait for them to reach for theirs, give a little meow and use the old baby blues and bam! Dreamy time!
THEY LEFT ME ALONE, THEY WENT OUT FOR A WHILE. IT WAS BLISS… The bliss was short lived however, they came back with those crackly bags full of their treats. I got in one to see what they had bought me, the both just stared at me smiling point those odd rectangles they pull from their legs at me. Honestly, I don’t understand these humans.
I am in a box… in a noisy metal thing going really fast somewhere, I don’t like this one bit. God I better get dreamies galore when this is over.
THE STRANGE HUMANS WITH A MASK SHAVED ME. I HAVE A BIT OF MY FUR MISSING AROUND MY NECK AND ON MY STOMACH. I KEEP LICKING BUT NOTHING HELPS. God, I feel ridiculous, I must look it as well. On the plus side I got a whole load of tuna when I got back.
Well, I guess this is just how it is now isn’t it. They are just always going to be around, my "new normal" (something I have picked up from all the picture box watching).
Like most weeks they are both now passionately staring at a small picture box, talking to tiny humans trapped inside. Apparently, it is funny when I walk in front though! I heard one human say it ‘was the highlight of the quiz’. No idea what a quiz is but maybe I have a gift for them.
Well, they are still here, rarely leaving me alone, both have got better with the whole daytime nap idea and just leave me to it. I wonder how much longer they are just going to be here all the time. It’s going to be a little strange when they go away during the daytime like they used to. It’s going to be pretty quiet, just me and the tease of an automatic feeder that lazily reveals more food for me like some strange ritual. Same time every day… You know, thinking about it, maybe its not so bad having them both around all the time. God listen to me… what has gotten into me… I sound like a dog!
Patches, fresh from a lockdown nap.